A Chainsaw of the Soul
by Elizabeth Jay
Summary: Title borrowed from Laurie Halse Anderson's "Speak." Steph gives Damian what he needs … even if he needs her to just sit there and be quiet until Dick shows up. Warnings for thematically sensitive content.


**A/N:** There are implications of thematically sensitive content, but I mostly leave it up to the reader what happened to Damian.

* * *

"I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here. So, how can I find my way? Is there a chainsaw of the soul, an axe I can take to my memories or fears."

-Laurie Halse Anderson; Speak

* * *

Steph sped through the streets branching out from the spectacular fiery ruin behind her. Batman was assisting the police in containing the villainess, and Batgirl had been called in for one specific purpose.

Locate Robin.

The dynamic duo had been separated earlier that evening and the tracker said that the youngest Boy Wonder had gotten out before the big boom, so Stephanie was putting the theory to the test, risking premature gray hair as she went. Fortunately, she spotted the bright flash of yellow on her second run through down Rosenbloom Boulevard.

She threw the emergency break, surrendered further control of the vehicle to Proxy, and reached for the kid: "Robin!"

No sooner had she touched the younger hero's shoulder, then Damian threw himself backward violently. "Don't touch me! Go away!"

Steph backed off instantly, recognizing the moment when League training took over. She had no desire to have her ass kicked by a twelve-year-old. "Robin," she repeated. "It's Batgirl." If she could get any closer, the female vigilante would be whispering "It's Steph" and maybe even "Dami" because the white-out lenses are blown wide. "It's Batgirl," she said again. "Do you need help?"

"Batgirl," he echoed blankly. "Batgirl." Recognition filtered in with the second repetition, but it didn't relax the defensive stance one bit. "I'm fine. Go away."

Not happening.

The kid just went up against Poison Ivy, and who knew what toxins were running through his body just now?

So . . . not happening.

"Proxy, we could use the Bat out here," she relayed over the comm instead. "ASAP." She took a seat on the concrete a few feet from Damian, and leaned back against the driver's side of the Compact. More or less comfortable, Steph waited for Damian to look up again. "Big brother's on his way," she offered quietly when he did. "I'm just going to wait with you until he gets here, alright?"

"Go away . . . please."

And that rarely-used "please" just about broke Steph's heart, but she didn't betray it. "Sorry, sweetie," she returned instead, and he didn't call her on it. "You don't look so good right now."

Damian flinched; Steph clamped her mouth shut and counted to thirty.

"Did you have a hand in blowing up the greenhouse?" Steph finally asked, looking for a distraction as he started to settle once more. All she got was a tight nod. "Pretty fire."

"I'm cold."

The apparent non sequitur made Steph bite her lip. It was cool for September, but the survival suits were insulated. Yet Damian was curled around his knees with the cape pulled taut around him, and shock was nothing to mess around with.

"Can you stand, Robin?" That earned her a dirty look which she found strangely heartening. "I'm gonna toss you the keys to the Compact, okay?" she fished them out of her belt, suiting action to word. "Go ahead. Lock yourself in, and blast the heat."

Damian stared at her.

"I'll keep watch," she promised. "Just until Batman gets here."

Damian watched her as he stumbled to his feet, limping the long way around the vehicle to enter from the other side. Steph waited for the door locks to click into place before resting her head back against the polished metal. "It's going to be okay," she whispered, even though he couldn't hear her and she couldn't back it up.

It was a few minutes longer before Dick showed up. Steph didn't get up, just waved vaguely behind her at the car. Dick reached down to squeeze her shoulder before knocking on the back window. The locks were promptly released, and Batman disappeared into the little purple car. Steph continued to wait.

Batman stepped out with Robin cradled in his arms and an expression more suited to Bruce's incarnation than Dick's. Steph stayed where she was even though Damian appeared to be asleep. It earned her an appreciative nod, and the privilege of watching Batman try to navigate getting in the Batmobile without putting Robin down.

Richard Grayson was a really great guy, and Steph sometimes envied Damian. Not tonight, of course . . . not really.

Steph waved as they flew away out of habit. Then she peeled herself off the ground, groaning about her age in ways that most college students don't have to. Then Steph got into her car, turned down the heat, and cast a quick glance at the backseat before driving away.

Steph will never get the full story. If she dropped by the cave sometime over the next few weeks, Damian won't be there. It will be almost a year before Batgirl and Robin work together without Batman hovering over them every step of the way.

But Stephanie Brown made a promise, and everything is going to be okay.


End file.
